I started cooking from scratch, making homemade oven chips for pennies. Fishcakes from leftover mash and a tin of tuna. I grew in confidence and and taught myself to cook. Dinner would be whatever fresh ingredients were on offer at the supermarket. Very soon we were eating so much healthier and enjoying our meals together instead of rushing them down so mummy could get off to work. I started growing veg and making bread. Learning ways to make our own soaps and toiletries.
Me being around all the time meant having free time to go out together and enjoying life as a family. Soon we became the envy of our friends, living a lifestyle that they wanted…. something we hadnt even considered when we were worrying over the consequences of me leaving work.
Looking back now, after losing my darling daughter to a rare teenage cancer. I could never have guessed what sadness and loss fate was going to throw at me but I can be thankful that I was able to be at home all the time with the children and share the precious time we had together. I cant change what happened but I can share how I plucked up the courage to change my whole lifestyle and maybe give someone else the push they need.
Shirley

13 comments
Comments feed for this article
March 5, 2008 at 11:12 pm
louise foster
Hi there
Just wanted to say I love your beauty recipes on IPTW!
And admire how you changed your life to stay at home with the children ,especially since you did not know time would be so limited with your daughter.
I’m also a SAHM and dont regret giving up my job for one minute!
regards
Louise
March 6, 2008 at 10:47 pm
shirleyuk
Thank you louise. It means a lot to me that people are commenting. It is tough at times. Sometimes I dont want to get out of bed but at least the laptop is easy. I can just sit here and start writing my thoughts.
I love being a SAHM. Everyone has a choice and for me it was easy. I had support and so many ideas on how to ‘get back’ my lost wages.
I’m really pleased that you are doing what you love. Don’t ever regret things because you don’t know whats around the corner. x
March 19, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Liz
Shirley I have just found your blog and love it. We moved to the UK form HK last year when my (new) husband’s ex wife died of cancer. Their son was here at boarding school, so we came back to be with him. I have two girls from my first marriage whose dad lives in Japan. It was heartbreaking for my stepson to lose his mum, heartbreaking for the girls to leave Asia as they saw their dad every 12 weeks or so. And all five of us had to learn to be a family. We celebrated our first year here this week. At first I was a SAHM, but in another families’ house. Slowly we started, with the help and understanding of my step-son to make it into our house….this is a job that will take years, but he has decided to leave school and come home to live with us all this summer. This makes us very happy.
I worked briefly part time in a garden centre, a true delight, as gardenring keeps me sane! We have turned some of the garden into a vegetable plot. But now, I have to work full time. There are days when I resent it, although the job is good and the people lovely. But I miss being at home for the girls when school ends, miss the days alone in the house and all the time I had to cook. I have been feeling pretty sorry for myself, and when I read your blog and about your daughter it struck me that you have lost so much, but still have a wonderful, cheerful outlook on life.
It has been tough for me in a new country, tough for us all, but the girls love school and seem happy. They are off to see their dad in two weeks and he will come over in the summer. We tell ourselves that if the kids are happy then we have done the right thing.
You’ve given me a boost. Thank you.
Liz
March 20, 2008 at 9:31 am
shirleyuk
Thank you Liz. The funny thing is you say i’ve given you a boost but I read what you have wrote and it makes me think that i’m not the only one who is having a tough time and it helps me too.
I feel sad that you have to work when you want to be at home with the kids. I hope that you find a way to make this a short term thing and can return back to the life you want. Life is too short for regrets.
I’m so pleased that your step son is going to be with you for the summer. Thats a huge step for all of you and its credit to you for giving him an environment that he needs and wants to ‘come home’ to. You should be really proud of yourself.
I hope you keep reading Liz, its nice to have you here with us
March 23, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Liz
Thanks Shirley. Happy Easter to you and yours. I will keep reading.
April 28, 2008 at 7:07 pm
sheena
Hi Shirley,
I don’t ‘do’ blogs but I love yours. You cover everything I’ve thought about doing but am never organised enough to do. You explain things so much better than the books – in plain English
Keep blogging and thanks for sharing.
April 29, 2008 at 7:02 pm
shirleyuk
Thanks Sheena thats a lovely compliment. I know what you mean about not ‘doing’ blogs. I could never understand why people would just write about stuff and share it with the world.. why?
I think it just gives me a focus. I’ve gone from a life of hospitals and appointments to, well, no routine. I sit down and ramble on here for an hour or two and sometimes people talk back to me and I feel like I’m being useful
June 22, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Mira
Dear Shirley,
You are such an inspiration, as a mother, a woman and a human being living in this modern world.
I don’t know you but I love you.
Just want to give you a great big hug all the way from Israel.
Keep up the good work.
Life is weird ,you look up Kefir in Google and end up falling in love with a stranger
June 24, 2008 at 3:29 pm
shirleyuk
Hi Mira.
I love you right back!
How lovely of you to say such nice things to me.. it means a lot.
I’m struggling to keep working on my blog at the moment but then I read your post and felt happy.
Thanks for your words
July 28, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Nic
Hi,
Found my way here from MSE website whilst looking for menu planners/recipes and havent been able to stop reading yet! I’m just about to have a quick look at the beauty tips, then I really must go to bed!
I am a single mum trying to get more organised, stop wasting food & therefore money and make life a bit easier for all of us.
I am particularly interested in kefir and had not heard of it until I came to your site, are you still ‘breeding’ babies and could I possibly be added to your waiting list?
I admire your change of lifestyle and wish that I could work less but unfortunately being single I cant see any other options at the moment. I have recently managed to negotiate 1 day off a week, so that helps!
I am going to subscribe and look forward to future updates.
Best wishes
Nic
February 4, 2009 at 10:49 am
indiebird
Hi Shirley,
Long time no speak!! I cannot for the life of me find your email address at the moment so thought I would leave you a message here instead. I hope all is well with you but want to tell you that I am missing your blog. I still pop back from time-to-time but see you’ve been taking a blogging break. Anyway, I know that this is a hard time of the year for you so thought I would just pop you a little message to let you know that I am still thinking of you and still using your scrubby bars recipe and passing on the link to everyone that asks. Take care and lots of love and hugsxxxx
February 7, 2009 at 10:31 pm
shirleyuk
Dear Indiebird and Kiwi Karoline.
Thank you so much for your kind words. Its really touching that you both took the time to write to me.
And Indie, how lovely that you remember the time of year. Yes it is tough for me at the moment. I’ve just got to get through the tenth. We are going to go to the seaside again, maybe it will be something we do every year. It feels right to do it again. This year of course we will be taking the new baby. And he’s going to learn all about his Auntie who watches him from heaven.
I will be back on my blog soon, thank you for making it worthwhile x
February 5, 2009 at 10:53 am
Kiwi Karoline
Hello,
I just wanted to say thanks for your blog posts!
I’ve really enjoyed reading them, and they’ve inspired me to put more into action towards living a smarter and simpler lifestyle.
You have a very natural writing style that is a pleasure to read, and I feel like I’m in the kitchen next to you, being nurtured by your home-made butter and jam!
Looking forward to your next posts!